


let me in the walls you've built around

by neoncrayolas



Series: Quarantine Vibes 2020 [2]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, i can be a softy sometimes lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:40:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26227306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neoncrayolas/pseuds/neoncrayolas
Summary: Buck has a nightmare. Eddie wakes up to an empty bed.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Quarantine Vibes 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1684576
Comments: 3
Kudos: 209





	let me in the walls you've built around

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, it hasn't been 4 months or anything, has it? If you were to ask me what I did during quarantine, my answer would be "who the fuck knows." 
> 
> This is literally something I churned out in about five minutes, based off a prompt I've been writing for my own story. Thought I'd share it to declutter my brain. Enjoy!

Eddie woke up to an empty bed. Lifting himself from where he’d been laying on his stomach, he saw a faint light coming from down the hallway. He had a strong hunch that it wasn’t his son up at – he checked the clock – three in the morning watching TV. Groaning and pushing himself up, he made his way to the living room, where, sure enough, Buck was laying on the couch, idling flipping through TV channels.

“Thought the couch was bad for your back,” Eddie murmured as he padded across the room.

Buck shifted on the couch, lifting his arm up, and Eddie lowered himself down, curling into Buck’s side. “What are you doing up?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Buck said quietly, still flipping through channels. “What are _you_ doing up?”

“It appears that I’ve become accustomed to you sleeping in my bed in a very short amount of time, Evan Buckley,” Eddie mumbled, slipping his arm around Buck’s waist and yawning.

“Aw,” Buck said, and Eddie could _feel_ the smirk in his voice. “You love me.”

“No, I just use you for warmth,” Eddie grumbled, lightly smacking Buck’s arm. But then he turned to glance up at the younger man, catching Buck looking down at him with such a soft look that Eddie couldn’t help but smile. “But I guess I love you too.”

Buck’s face split into a smile, and he leaned his head against Eddie’s.

“Why can’t you sleep?” Eddie asked after a few quiet moments. Buck had landed on an old episode of Friends, and was letting the remote slip through his hand, running his fingers over the buttons. It was clear his mind was on something else.

He bit his lip, not answering right away.

“Nightmare,” Buck finally said.

Eddie reached up to put a hand on Buck’s cheek, making the younger man turn to look at him. “Why didn’t you wake me, Ev?”

Buck let his head fall into Eddie’s hand, sighing at the name that only Eddie used. Buck might never admit it – because to anyone who knew him, they knew he hated his first name – but he loved hearing Eddie call him that. “You – you were sleeping, and I know between work and Christopher’s nightmares, you haven’t been getting that much sleep. And I didn’t – look, I know I can be…exhausting. So I didn’t want to bother you.”

Eddie sat up like a bolt of lightning, pulling Buck up with him, and crushed the other man in a hug, waiting until he felt Buck’s arms wind around him, clutching him back. Eventually, Eddie pulls back, taking Buck’s face between his hands. “Buck. _Evan_. You can _always_ wake me up. I don’t want you to feel like you have to deal with stuff like that lone. You’re _constantly_ there for me, always making sure I’m okay, and I want to do the same for you.”

Buck leaned over suddenly, wrapping his arms around Eddie’s waist and kissing him hard. Eddie kept his hands on Buck’s face, and it was a few minutes before they pulled away from each other. Buck sunk back down onto the couch, pulling Eddie with him.

They were quiet for a little bit, absentmindedly watching the TV. Eddie had grabbed Buck’s hand and was playing with his fingers, and Buck hummed contentedly.

“Want to talk about it?” Eddie asked softly when he felt the silence become too much. He knew Buck and could feel his body was still tense, knew something was eating at him.

Buck didn’t answer.

Eddie tried again. “Buck. I meant what I said. You can always talk to me, about anything.”

Buck hummed again, still not meeting Eddie’s eyes. “It was, um, after – the lawsuit. And – nothing ever really got…fixed? Like. You guys were still pissed at me, and we were out on a call and – I was by myself – and no one was coming to help me, and the building –” Buck had to force the words out, because they tasted so _bad_. “The building was going to come down – and I realized – I was going to die alone.”

Eddie closed his eyes, trying to force down the bile that was threatening to rise in his throat. Buck had literally dreamt that he was going to fucking _die alone_ because it had taken them so long to pull their heads out of their asses to see that their friend was fucking hurting.

“I woke up, and when I saw you sleeping next to me, I realized it was just a dream,” Buck continued quietly. “But I couldn’t…I couldn’t shake the feeling. And I didn’t want to wake you, so I just came out here.”

Eddie was quiet for a long time, so long that Buck began to regret saying anything. Just as he was about to tell the other man to forget about it, Eddie startled him out of his head.

“Buck – Evan – I know I’ve apologized – we all have – but I still want to, every goddamn day, for making you feel like that. I can’t _stand_ that thought, that I made you feel like – feel like I _hated_ you, god, because Buck, that is _so fucking far_ from the truth. Please know that.” Eddie took a deep breath, squeezing Buck’s hand and looked up to the younger man, dismayed to see tears gathering in his eyes. He opened his mouth again, but Buck cut him off.

“No, Eds, these are – I just can’t believe we’re here, right now, like this. I never thought – I just – love you so much,” he whispered. “And I never want to lose you again. And I’m so scared that I will.”

“You won’t,” Eddie whispered back, reaching up and pulling Buck’s head down until their foreheads were touching. “You won’t. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere, ever again. Any burning building you rush into, I’m right behind you. Any tidal wave that threatens to drown you, I’ll be right there, pulling you to the surface. And any nightmares that keep you up, I’ll be right there to tell you they’re not real. You’re not alone, Buck. Not anymore.”

He tilted his face up, pressing his lips against Buck’s, and curled into the kiss when Buck deepened it.

Pulling back, Eddie stood up, offering his hand to Buck.

“Come back to bed. I’ll be right there. Know that I’ll always be there when you wake up.”

Buck didn’t hesitate to grab the older man’s hand and let him lead him back to bed, choosing to trust in his words – that he’d be there in the morning.

That he’d be there always.

**Author's Note:**

> title is from "Dust to Dust" by The Civil Wars 
> 
> Thanks for reading!! :)


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